Games for Long-Distance Couples: Staying Close Over a Screen

The best games for long-distance couples are the ones that make you do something together on the call, not just talk about your day. Question games, co-op puzzles, shared watch nights and small “same time, two places” challenges all work. What fails is the nightly status report. You know the one. “Good. Tired. You?” Twenty minutes of that and both of you hang up feeling further apart than before.

Why do games help long-distance couples feel closer?

Games help long-distance couples feel closer because they give a video call a shape, a reason to laugh, and a reason to say things you would not say in a routine check-in. Distance is not automatically a closeness killer, either. Research on dating couples suggests it can even nudge people to open up more.

In a diary study published in the Journal of Communication in 2013, researchers Crystal Jiang and Jeffrey Hancock found that long-distance dating couples made more adaptive self-disclosures and formed more idealized views of their partner than couples living nearby, and both effects fed intimacy. Across 876 diaries logging 3,024 interactions, the long-distance partners talked fewer times a day but felt more intimate, according to Cornell University’s summary.

The useful takeaway from the Jiang and Hancock study is that long-distance couples tend to open up more when they do talk. A good game gives that openness somewhere to go. It also takes pressure off. Nobody has to invent a fascinating topic after a ten-hour shift, because the card, the puzzle or the prompt already did it.

“The long-distance couples try harder than geographically close couples in communicating affection and intimacy, and their efforts do pay back.”

L. Crystal Jiang, then assistant professor at City University of Hong Kong, speaking to the Cornell Chronicle in 2013

Question games: the easiest long-distance game to start tonight

Question games are the easiest long-distance couple game because they need nothing but a list and a connection. One of you reads, both of you answer. That is the whole setup.

The trick is picking questions that ask for a story instead of a fact. “What was the worst meal you ever ate on a trip?” beats “What is your favorite food?” every single time. Our list of conversation starters for couples is sorted into three levels, from easy openers to the deep end, and it works just as well on a screen as across a table. For game formats built around asking and answering, see the question games for couples page.

One rule I would not skip: both of you answer every question. On a call it is easy for one person to become the interviewer. That feels like a job interview, and nobody wants a job interview at 11 pm.

Which long-distance game fits your night?

The right long-distance game depends on how much energy you both have and how good your connection is. A tired Tuesday over shaky hotel Wi-Fi calls for something very different from a Saturday when you both have the whole evening and a decent signal. Use this as a shortcut.

Online games you can play on two screens

Online games for long-distance couples work best when both of you play at the same time and can hear each other, so keep the call running in the background. Co-op puzzle games, word games and quiz sites all qualify. Pick one with short rounds. A two-hour strategy campaign sounds romantic until one of you has a 7 am alarm.

We keep a broader rundown of online games for couples, including how to choose between competitive and cooperative play. My honest opinion: cooperative wins for long distance. Losing to your partner is funny in person. Over a laggy call, it can land a little flat.

Same-time challenges that turn a call into a date

A same-time challenge is a small activity you both do in your own homes while on the call, and it is the closest thing to a real date that a screen allows. The point is shared effort, not a perfect result.

• Cook-off: agree on one simple recipe, shop separately, cook together, then rate each other’s plate by camera.
• Blind drawing: both draw the same prompt in five minutes, then reveal at once. “Our first apartment” is a good one. Ben and I tested this from opposite ends of our house in Missoula, and we drew two completely different floor plans.
• Two-city walk: go for a walk at the same time and show each other one thing you would never have noticed alone.
• Watch and rate: start the same film on a countdown, keep the audio call open, and score it out of ten at the end. Disagreements are the fun part.

Save a card game for when you are finally in the same room

A physical couples card game is worth saving for visits, because the first evening together after weeks apart can feel oddly shy. You have been talking for months. Then you are on the same couch and nobody knows what to say. A deck fixes that fast.

That shyness is normal, because closing the distance is its own adjustment. A 2006 study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that about half of long-distance dating couples end up living in the same place, and that one-third of those reunited couples break up within three months, citing lost independence, more conflict and jealousy among the reasons. A card game will not solve that. It does give the first nights back something easy to share.

The LOOPY game for couples is built for that kind of night: five decks (Talks, Fun Activities, Kisses, Fondles and a Secret deck) plus a spinner that picks which one you draw from, so the mood can move from talking to flirting without anyone having to steer. Between visits, the person who owns the box can still read Talks cards aloud over a call. For more ideas once you are together, our date night games at home post has plenty, and everything we sell is in the shop.

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